Danny* is 52 years old. He has been chronically homeless for most of the last 10 years, and before that he existed primarily on the generosity of family members. He has run-ins with pot and alcohol and while he is one of the tenderest people I know, about six months ago he was arrested for cutting a guy in the soup kitchen. And, his favorite topic of conversation is women.

Because of this last fact, I was not surprised when he told me he had a girlfriend. He always has a girlfriend, or needs a girlfriend or wants a girlfriend. In his mind, he is Casanova, with women swooning at his every word. We laugh at him, and with him a lot. Maybe you can tell.

What did surprise me, however, was when he told me his girlfriend was in college. And 18. And that her parents loved him. At first, I put it off to his normal bragging. But he was pretty insistent.

It turns out, she was one of several college kids who hang out in the park and befriend the under-resourced who hang out there, usually waiting on the soup kitchen to open. She was nice to Danny, talked to him and, in his mind, he had a new girlfriend. Her parents had Danny over for dinner (trying to be nice) and this only drove the point home more. She was oblivious to this until we clued her in.Then, she was mortified, scared to death she had done something to lead him on or make him think that she was ‘interested’ in him.

She did not do anything wrong. She just did not know how Danny’s world operates. In his world, if you are a woman, there are three possibilities: You are either someone’s mother, someone’s sister or someone’s girlfriend (or rarely, wife). In his world, there are no liberated women who define their own identity. It is a possibility that never even comes up.

And before you call Danny a sexist pig, realize that the women who are his peers encourage this. The women who live on the street are always accompanied by a man for protection. There are no single, liberated women in their world either.

* Names are changed to protect the confidentiality of those who trust me with their friendship.