A new thing I am doing – I get lots of questions about homelessness and people who are homeless. I plan to start replying to them here, so in the future I can point back to the relevant post instead of typing it out for the gazillionth time. And it is Q and R, for response, rather than Q and A – because, as I say below, I don’t have all the answers. And what we really need is not better answers, but better questions.
The question:
I recently pulled out of a parking lot and there was a line of panhandlers at the stop light. Is it OK to give them money?
The short answer is – it depends.
In the sixth chapter of the Gospel of Luke, Jesus tells us to “give to everyone who asks”. This is one of those passage we go to great lengths to explain that Jesus is not saying what he very clearly says.
We should be responsible with our finances and we all have bills to pay, so maybe we don’t have any extra money to share. Of course, we seem to find money for the new cell phone, the second -or third! car, the cable television and the internet access. But I digress. No matter who we are, we can all give something. One of our basic premises at Love Wins Ministries is that most of the good things that happen in our lives are the result of the relationships we have. So, if we want people to not live on the street anymore, we need to help them get higher quality relationships. Therefore, my guiding principle is this: What is the most relational thing I can give right now?
If you are late for an appointment and in a rush, maybe the best you can do is look them in the eye and give them respect and dignity. Later you can pray for them and, while doing it, maybe ask yourself and God if your life is out of control if the pace at which you live prevented you from being able to show mercy and compassion.
Jesus says that giving a cup of cool water in his name is not a small thing – a cooler in the back seat with bottles of water to give to people who are holding a sign costs virtually nothing. Around here a case of water goes for less than $4. And it would be meaningful to the next 24 people who ask you for help. Socks are also always appreciated, and they are less than a dollar a pair in small quantities.
Maybe you give him a five dollar bill.* How much relationship did that take? Not much – but if you are hungry or trying to raise your rent, it matters… a lot. And if they are going to use it for drugs or alcohol – well, being homeless and standing on a corner and asking perfect strangers for money, while having insults, bottles and trash thrown at you is demeaning, demoralizing and just plain exhausting. You do that long enough, and you will be looking for escape as well.
Or maybe you could buy some food – say a value meal at McDonald’s – and give it to them. Or to step it up a notch, go ahead and buy two hamburgers, then come back and say ‘I was about to eat lunch and had an extra hamburger… can I sit here and eat lunch with you? Which is more relational? Which is better for them, not just more convenient for you?
Right now, you are probably saying something like “But if I sat on the ground next to him and ate with him, what would the folks driving by think?”. Seriously, is this his problem, or yours? Jesus was often accused of hanging out with whores and sinners – why are we who follow him reluctant to earn the same charge?
The truth is, that person with a sign is a human being, with hopes and dreams and feelings and a soul. The Christian story is that he is beloved by God and, in fact, bears the very image of God. Jesus goes even further and in Matthew 25 tells us that the person we show compassion to (or don’t) is no less than Jesus himself. Maybe the very least we can do is treat them like a person?
Hopefully this answer of mine opens up more questions for you. Maybe what you are wondering is if the homeless with street signs are scammers (usually not), or if I am a dreamer (maybe, but I’m not the only one) or if I am some self-righteous liberal who talks a good game with nothing to back it up (come have lunch with me at the soup kitchen and find out – I’ll even let you have my cookie!). I know I haven’t answered all your questions, but that’s OK, because what we need are not more answers, but better questions.
*While we are on this subject – everyone is always concerned about what people will do with the money we give them. Yet we don’t do this in any other part of our life. If you give me a sweater for Christmas and I take it back to the store and get a toaster instead, you don’t get mad – it was a gift and is mine to do with as I please. And yet…
Give a homeless man a dollar and we worry about what he will do with it. Will he use it wisely? Buy drugs? Spend it on cigarettes? A gift is a gift – period. If I gave you a Target gift card for Christmas and said “Don’t buy any sweets with it, because you need to lose weight”, you wouldn’t feel loved, or respected or even very human. And could we really call that a gift? Once restrictions are placed on a gift, it becomes less than a gift – it becomes a means by which you control the other person.
If you’re not in a position where you can not, with a clear conscience, give money to someone with no worries about how they will spend it, then don’t give money. However, ask yourself if it is really concern for the individual you are feeling, or if it is really about you and your need for control or your relationship with money than it is the spending habits of the recipient.
Note: I originally answered this question on Karen Spears Zacharias‘ blog, but then she upgraded her site and it was lost to the internet.
Thanks for sharing!
This is what I do:
http://lauriekessler.blogspot.com/2010/07/homeless-101-meals-on-wheels.html
Hugh, great advice. I buy meals for homeless or panhandlers a lot and have done water or a drink. I never thought about the socks idea before. That is good. Bless you for what you are doing for your fellow man!
The most profound reflection I’ve seen on this issue is Kelly S. Johnson’s book “The Fear of Beggars: Stewardship and Poverty in Christian Ethics.” Among other things, she powerfully critiques the assumption that “the model disciple has disposable wealth and that existing property rights are underwritten by God” (98). She also brilliantly traces aftermath of the Franciscan movement following the death of the founder St. Francis and show that St. Francis’ life is in many ways a 13th-century parallel of Jesus’ life in the 1st century: “Francis’s Testament, circulated after his death, included a strongly-worded call to the friars to remain poor and lowly, never to seek protection or privileges from the church hierarchy. Meanwhile Brother Elias was constructing in Assisi a basilica in Francis’s honor. Francis’s friend Hugolino, now Pope Gregory IX, intervened to clarify the Rule and to set the conscience of the order at ease with regard to the goods they used” (Johnson 59). Thus, one could say that Francis’ brother Elias and Francis’ friend Hugolino friend essentially began the betrayal of the original vision in the same way as did Jesus’ brother James Jesus’ friend Peter — presaging our 21st century struggles with how to deal with beggars. See: http://www.amazon.com/Fear-Beggars-Stewardship-Christian-Eerdmans/dp/0802803784/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1300382849&sr=8-1
I like to keep a box of granola bars in my car to hand out to people asking for help, and I’ve even given out a pair of gloves. It’s nice to be able to help out in a more personal way than to just give money, especially now days when everything is so digital. Also some people don’t carry much if any cash on them at all, only cards.
“You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good” As Christians we should be about doing good as well. Thank you! CJ
Hmmm. We just had a discussion of this in our congregation at our retreat. Mostly about why we look the other way when we see someone panhandling. The best ideas you have are much easier for men to do than for women to do. There’s no way I would feel safe sitting down and having a meal with man who was panhandling. For the same reasons I don’t pick up hitchhikers. But I could certainly keep a bottle of water in my car. I’m sending this link to my church members.
However, I think the use of the word “whore” is a bit strong. First, you say “whores and sinners” as if a whore is a special kind of sin, or different from sinners. Also, you specially name the “sin” of whoring, when you don’t say “tax collectors” (and thereby agents of Rome, and betrayers of their own people) or adulterers, liars, thieves, or anything else.
Second, it’s especially an especially harsh word for the two instances when Jesus actually did have contact with women who could be in that category. The first, the woman caught in adultery (and, mind you, by default, the man caught in adultery) and the second, the Samaritan woman, who had a few husbands, and was living with someone who wasn’t her husband. There’s no indication with either of these women that they are performing sex work. And if you look up the word “whore” in the dictionary, you see that it’s a derogatory term. Jesus would no more have called them whore than anything.
Stepping off my soap box now.
If we are afraid giving cash to the poor will be misspent or if you are like me and use a debit card and never carry cash, a good alternative is to carry gift certificates or gift cards for restaurants that can only be used for food. Though I’m sure they could be sold by the recipient for cash to misspend. But Jesus never implied that we would be held accountable for misspent alms by another. He just said to give.
Not only are these people homeless, they are nameless. How many times when you hand over a dollar do you ask the person’s name? Swapping of first names and (dare I?) a quick handshake may go far in acknowledging their human-ness and allow them a connection, however small, to another person.
Thanks for the advice. I am new to the area and not accustomed to seeing homeless at the stoplights. Granola bars, sox, and water are all great ideas. But after watching your Tedx video on the homeless and relationships, I will also ask their name in case I see them again.
@Diana –
You are on the right track!
I’ve taken to carrying $5 bills in my wallet and a few Golden Corral gift cards (each charged to the amount of a lunch buffet). I give them out as I get the “nudge.” Sometimes that’s on my way out of a parking lot and on my way to my next stop, but as often as I can I park, get out, and ask (after giving something), “What’s your name?” “Where are you from?” and “How did you end up in Raleigh?” I’ve had some good conversations that way (and you’d be surprised at many of the stories–there’s so many ways that folks “end up here”).
YMMV, and certainly don’t think that my way is “best”–listen to what the Spirit is saying to you about what to do. I do think that having a conversation that lets them tell their stories (as often as you get the “nudge” to do so) is especially appreciated, from the responses I’ve gotten. That, and you may be blessed by the occasional story that ends with a lot of hope, rather than despair.
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I used to be married to an alcoholic. I have a GREAT ISSUE with giving money to those who might use it to buy drugs or alcohol. This is enabling. Through the 12-steps, I have chosen to not ENABLE anymore. It actually DOES hurt people (the alcoholic’s family members) and it does HURT society as a whole if a person (homeless or otherwise) is not held accountable, and it given hand-outs. It is a vicious cycle – and it leaves the problem to “someone else” when we decide to cover it up, make excuses for or over-compensate for someone else’s choices. By giving that person a hamburger, you are enabling them for one more day to make their choices without consequences. Far better to allow that person to hit their rock bottom.
I often hear people, who dismiss panhandlers, relay scenerios of what is going on in the panhandler’s life. “He’s just using that money to buy drugs or alcohol.” “She could get a job and would do so if people would stop giving her handouts.” “They make good money you know.”
Hugh, I really appreciate what you wrote about the relational side of the question. I confess I have not done anything to establish a connection with the people I try to help. But I do continually ask myself the question, “What must this person have gone thru to bring them to this circumstance?” I know of nobody who would choose to be in such a position. I hope I have the courage to not just ask the question to myself but to actually find the answer from the source and in doing so come to better understand this Jesus who looks back at me thru their eyes.
What would you say to this scenario which ac actually happened?
I crossed a busy street and turned around to help a supposedly homeless man, with a dog. This was on Christmas Eve. I offered to let him and his dog warm up in my vehicle. I offered a meal, a warmer jacket than he had, some food for his dog, and the use of my cell phone to call someone who might be worried and want to know he was alive and well.
This young man did not look unkempt or homeless. He was panhandling for money to replace his contact lenses! He refused everything I offered him to continue standing and looking pitiful with his sign that said ‘COLD and HUNGRY’
The Lion’s Club will give free glasses. Nobody NEEDS contact lenses.
I was utterly amazed, astonished, and outraged. Not so much that my offer was rejected, but at his duplicitousness. He was using the day, when people are more inclined to be generous, and his dog to garner sympathy. I have since heard of instances where people live quite well panhandling.
I want o be generous, but I also do not wish to be taken advantage of
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